Green Morality and the Higher Law

We, the authors of this blog, have embarked upon a journey to codify the new "green elite" morality around us. Today, as in times past, we have leaders or Masters who dictate and exemplify the new laws: Leonardo DiCaprio, Al Gore, Kevin Cosner. We've developed the quiz below to test your aptitude and determine if you are just green, or truly "green elite".


Question 1:
Who is more righteous, someone who:

A. Spends $5 on gas (supporting evil oil companies) and gives $5 to a nonprofit
B. Spends $10 more on a car (supporting Toyota, a for-profit company) and saves $5 dollars in gas

Answer: B

Question 2:
Rank in order from most to least righteous:

A. Making a $5 microcredit loan to a dirt poor farmer in China
B. Spending $20 on a toy from Wal-mart, where $5 goes to a former dirt poor farmer in China for his labor, you save $5 having bought from Wal-mart, get what you want, and lend the $5 you save to a dirt poor Chinese farmer as a microcredit loan (or spend the saved $5 bucks on domestically grown organic produce)
C. Paying $25 for a toy from Krogers, where $2 go to a unionized domestic toy worker that supervises the automated process, $4 are spent on machine operation costs, $2 go forcibly to union leaders to promote their agenda, and $2 go to unionized grocery store workers.
D. Donating $5 to your local grocery store workers union.

Answers:
A, C, D (Tie)
B

Question 3:
Again, rank according to Righteousness:
1) For-profit oil company that scours every Godforsaken cranny of the Earth to extract, refine and satiate your guilty appetite for oil
2) Nonprofit
3) Religious Charity
4) Organic and domestic food company
5) Green company
6) Alternative energy company

Answers:
2, 4, 5, 6 (Tie)
3 (likely a polygamist, anti-evolution, superstitious sect)
1 (remember, they're a for-greedy-profit company as opposed to a for-green-profit company)

Question 4: Extra Credit
Our results indicate that question 2) was a bit confusing. If you missed question 2), you can make up for it by answering this question for Extra Credit.

Rank from most to least Righteous:
1) Giving a man a fish
2) Teaching a man to fish
3) Lending a man money to buy a net
4) Buying fish from him (giving him an incentive to make his own net and teach himself to fish)

Answers:
1, 3 (Tie) - Microcredit loans are the only conceivable way that a person will get the capital to aquire a net.
2 - This sounds good, but fishing lessons were axed to favor cultural diversity courses at the local public school, and there are no charter schools in his area.
4 - There's no doubt that this would work, but once he gets a net, there's a chance he may undercut us on price and take away our jobs.